Andrew: Mom, I’m sorry I gave you grief yesterday.
Mom: Thank you for apologizing. I am sure today will be a better day.
Andrew: I’m not gonna give you any grief today, but if I do Caleb’s gonna help me.
Mom: Oy!
I can’t figure out how to use this darned site or the computer for that matter!!! Do I need to go back to school? Yes, Yes, I say.
Today was cleaning day. You know toliets, floors, laundry… you get the idea. As I type this I realize every day is cleaning day. Ahh, motherhood. I needed to go to walmart this morning, and knowing that Jacob is no fun to take to such places I had a plan. We left just before lunch. I went straight to the deli and got a popcorn chicken for he and Andrew to share. I am so tricky. All was well until I realized Jacob had half the chicken in his mouth. It was not going down well. Where o where were my tissues? I ended up with a handful of half chewed chicken and a little bit of leftover breakfast. That was annoying. No matter. I found a garbage can to dump my treasure and wiped my hand on my pants. Problem solved. Things were going ok when Jacob decided to throw a container of yogurt out of the cart. Clean up on aisle 5. It was time to leave! But, not before I got some red lipstick. You see, I recently heard that every woman should have red lipstick. It symbolizes womanhood or something like that. There are two things I know about red lipstick. You can wear it or you can’t. I’m in the can’t catergory. Still, I was drawn to the makeup aisle in search of the perfect shade. After looking a little too long, I bought the cheapest one I could find. We got home unloaded the groceries and put Jacob to bed where he promptly fell asleep. It must be exhausting being naughty at walmart. Finally, I went to the mirror with my tube of redness and put the goopy stuff on. Nothing had changed. I still looked like a two dollar hooker, but I felt magical! I scrubbed and vacuumed and looked in the mirror. I put more on. The cheap stuff wears off pretty quickly. My children wondered what was all over my face. Michael asked me why I was wearing lipstick. It confused him. Apparantly he doesn’t know that it empowers a woman to wear red lipstick. So, I will continue to wear that stuff even if it is in the privacy of my own home. Cuz, don’t we all deserve to feel a little magical? Oh, and if your gonna by red lipstick, for heavens sake visit the Clinique counter!
